THE GIFT OF SINGLENESS or MARRIAGE
Module 11 is all about relationships with the opposite sex. How do we handle this aspect our lives?
Jesus takes His disciples to a wedding in Cana.
Module Bible Reading Assignment
John - Chapters 17 & 18
What is the gift of Singleness?
Matthew 19: 12
“ … and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.”
TOWARDS MARRIAGE
If the Lord leads you to marry, the Bible’s guidance for courting and marriage:
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership can righteousness have with wickedness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?
2 Corinthians 6: 14
BEFORE A RELATIONSHIP BEGINS ……
As a preface, I am an ardent proponent of “pre-relationship counseling” versus “pre-marital counseling.”
1. Start with the “End in Mind.”
If you know the destination, decision making is much easier.
One day, each of us will stand before the Lord and give an account of our lives. This one decision (marriage) will have a dramatic influence on the “kingdom impact” of your life.
2. If your marriage will be a “Picture of the Gospel” to your community, your church, your family and your children, who can best partner with you in a relationship?
3. If you envision this decision as the selection of teammate to “serve the Lord more effectively as a team than you can as an individual,” prayerfully consider who should you court.
The choice of a spouse is the SECOND most important decision that you will ever make. Don’t do it alone.
What about these really strong feelings of love?
“Feelings are like children: we should listen to them, we should care about them; but, we should not allow them to make major decisions in our life.”
Ryan Panell - Focus on the Family / Hope Restored
Men
Women
The Meaning of Marriage
Talks at Google
Delivered by Pastor Tim Keller
58 minutes. Excellent!
Husband, Wife and Holy Spirit are the three cords.
“A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” Ecc. 4:12
Covenant
Based upon trust between parties
Includes unlimited responsibility
Cannot be broken if new circumstances occur
Partnership and a pledge
Contract
Based upon distrust and protecting each parties interests
Includes limited liability
Can be terminated or voided by mutual consent
A covenant has a “burn the ships” mentality
In 1519, Hernán Cortés arrived on the shores of Mexico with about 600 men, a handful of horses, and a daring vision: to conquer the mighty Aztec Empire. His mission was audacious — the Aztecs ruled millions, while Cortés commanded only a few hundred soldiers.
Fearing that hesitation or fear might weaken their resolve, Cortés gave an unforgettable order: burn the ships. By destroying their only means of retreat, he eliminated the possibility of going back. The message was clear — there is no turning back; we move forward or we perish.
Cortés knew that when people are left with no escape, their determination intensifies. Every soldier now fought with the knowledge that survival depended entirely on victory.
Within two years, against staggering odds, Cortés and his men overthrew the Aztec Empire. The phrase “burn the ships”has since become a timeless metaphor for total commitment.
In marriage, this metaphor must be practiced. Each spouse must be “all-in.” The means of “escape” must be eliminated so that each can be faithful to their wedding vows.
EIGHT IMPORTANT CHARACTER TRAITS
Psalm 34: 3
Oh, magnify the Lord with me,
And let us exalt His name together.
“The purpose of marriage is to serve the Lord more effectively as a team than you could as an individual.”
— Pastor Garvin Martin
The First Century Jewish Wedding Ceremony and its symbolism
The Nativity
This movie captures the essence of the betrothal as Joseph approaches Mary’s father. Please watch this film.
“Your Marriage should be a picture of the gospel.”
— Pastor Derek Futrell
Wedding Ceremonies and vows have changed over the years; however, symbolism within the “traditional” Christian Marriage Ceremony is steeped in scriptural imagery
Why does the woman take on the man’s last name?
Consider a picture of the Gospel and one’s identity.
Why do ushers seat the family and friends of the bride and groom on opposite sides of the auditorium?
Why does the father walk the bride down the aisle?
Why does the groom enter the auditorium first?
What is the real significance of the white wedding dress?
Why does the groom make the vows first?
Premarital Sex is forbidden in the Bible in the Old Testament (punished by death) and in the New Testament. It is a big deal in God’s eyes.
PLEASE DON’T HEAD DOWN THIS ROAD
According to the Institute for Basic Life Principles, there are six purposes of Marriage
Companionship
True companionship grows out of a oneness of spirit. Amos 3:3
Enjoyment
The Principle behind enjoyment is self-control. Hebrews 13: 4
Completeness
God designed Eve to complete that which was lacking in Adam. Genesis 2: 23
Fruitfulness
God’s first commandment in scripture is to be fruitful and multiply. Genesis 1: 28
Protection
The husband is to protect the wife by laying his life down for her. Ephesians 5: 25
The wife is to protect the home. Titus 2: 4-5
Parents are to protect their children to raise up a Godly seed. Malachi 2: 15 & Psalm 112: 1-2
Typify Christ and the Church
Marriage is to be a human object lesson of the divine relationship between Christ and believers. Ephesians 5: 31-33